I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
