are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
