It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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