The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
