My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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