At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
