The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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