Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
