I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
