I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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