I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
