Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
