at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize