I got chris browned last night
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
