oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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