You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
