Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
