I got chris browned last night
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Never underestimate the power of titties
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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