Too much gin, very little bucket
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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