Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
