I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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