My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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