shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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