Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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