you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we're making bets on your personal life
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
