I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
