how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
