omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
