Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
