I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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