Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We left the knife in your bed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
