Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize