Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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