I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
