i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
this will be a night to untag.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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