just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize