I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
