Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
