VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
God, I missed his penis.
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