If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
