no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
