4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
