Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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