Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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