5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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