My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
