My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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