it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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