I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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