Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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