I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we made out on top of his cat.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
