Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
