I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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