4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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