Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
As shirtless as possible
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
