I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
