3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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