I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
