Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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