Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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